Shocking Love
by keehl86-jeevas87
Summary: Of course, everyone knows that Itachi killed his entire family, except for Sasuke. But what you don't know is that Sasuke's cousin is still alive. A girl that despises Sasuke, and wants him for his blood. Second story to our parody Naruto Love Series, the first being Impossible Love. This story may be kind of cheesy, since it was one of our first stories that we wrote. Check it out
1. Rival Standoff

**We have made up one character in this story, everything else belongs entirely to Masashi Kishimoto, the rightful creator and owner of everyone's fav anime, Naruto. =P**

**This is the second story to our previous Naruto story, Impossible Love, which is the first story in our crack/parody Naruto Love Series. If you haven't read the last story, then you're gay. =P Haha, nah we're just yanking your chain. Seriously though, if you have not read the first story, Impossible Love, then we would advise that you check it out so that you will better understand what's going on in this second story.**

**Our made up character's name is Ei. And just so you know, you pronounce Ei like you were saying the letters "A" and "E".**

**And by the way, be forewarned - most everyone is extremely out of character, for the sake of this being a crack/parody series and all.**

**Sequel to Impossible Love:**

**SHOCKING LOVE**

**Another Messed Up Naruto Love Story**

**(Action/Adventure/Romance/Comedy/Parody/and all of that other crap)**

**By: Johnny and Brett Wolff**

Of course, everyone knows that Itachi killed his entire family, except for Sasuke. But what you don't know is that Sasuke's cousin is still alive. A girl that despises Sasuke, and wants him for his blood.

Ei is someone that absolutely nobody wants to mess with. Even Hokage Tsunade keeps off her bad side, because even she knows that Ei would slaughter her with her elite skills in wind style and fire style jutsu.

Ei both looks and acts exactly like her cousin Sasuke. The only differences lie in her style. Just like Sasuke, she has raven black hair, however her hair style is similar to that of Sakura. She is extremely intellegent and crafty, like Shikamaru, extremely fast and agile, like Rock Lee, and her overall demeanor is that of Sasuke and Naruto blended together.

Now that you know who Ei Uchiha is, let the story begin.

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Sasuke and Sakura are sitting by the village pond. Sasuke suddenly looks at Sakura with a sad look on his face.

"Sakura," he says softly.

"Yeah?"

"I'm leaving."

"What do you mean?" Sakura asks, confused and hurt. "I'm not gonna let you go off alone, I'm coming with you."

"No, Sakura. Stay here."

"But why?"

"Because I don't think you want to see me use the bathroom."

"Huh?" Sakura cocks an eyebrow.

"I just mean that I have to leave because I have to go to the bathroom." Sasuke says.

"Oh my god Sasuke, you are so dumb." Sakura rolls her eyes.

Sasuke smirks, then stands up walks a mile and pees. After he's done he hears a small noise coming from a group of trees behind him. Then out of nowhere, several kunai and shuriken fly out from the trees straight at Sasuke. Sasuke barely dodges the sudden fleet of blades, leaping into the nearest tree and pulling out some of his own shuriken and kunai.

"Who's there!" Sasuke shouts, firing the kunai and shuriken at nothing in particular, wasting them all.

Whoever had been in the trees before had moved some place else. Sasuke hops back down to the ground and immediately summons his sharingan and chidori on instict. Then a loud bang followed by a huge earthquake-like form in the ground spreads out within a mile radius. Sasuke quickly jumps into another tree to avoid getting caught in the ripples of the massive earthquake, and as soon as it was over Sasuke growled and called out once again.

"Who are you!" he shouts.

But unlike last time, someone answers.

"I can't believe you don't know who I am." a mysterious voice answers from within the trees.

Then, a huge puff of smoke appears on the ground, and as it dissipates a figure of a raven haired girl slowly comes into view, squatting and holding her personal weapon in her hand, a cyclone shuriken. Ei's cyclone shuriken takes a similar form to Temari's tessen fan, however is made of a silver metal and is circular in shape, and is made with the most powerful metal in the world that can withstand even the most powerful explosions, and Ei has the only one that exists.

Sasuke leaps down from the tree and stands just a few yards away from the girl.

"I can't believe you don't recognize me, Sasuke." the girl says calmly with a grin.

"How do you know my name?" Sasuke asks.

"You've always had a bad memory." the girl sighs, slowly standing up.

Sasuke stands there, silent, trying to piece together who this girl is, but nothing comes to mind. The girl grins and puts her cyclone shuriken away.

"Any time now, Sasuke." she says, starting to get annoyed.

Suddenly it hits Sasuke.

"Oh! You're that lady from the restaurant! Look, I said I was sorry that I laughed at you. It was a simple mistake."

"What are you talking about?" the girl raises an eyebrow.

"Wait, you mean you're not that lady from that one restaurant that I laughed at because you sound like a man?"

"No you jackass!" the girl replies, looking at Sasuke like he's retarded.

"Oh yeah, that was Hinata."

"Sasuke, you really have no idea who I am, do you."

"Not a clue."

The girl rolls her eyes.

"I'm your cousin you chicken farmer!"

"Which one, cuz I have a lot of cousins."

"The one who's obviously not dead!"

"Which is?"

"EI!"

"Ohhh!" Sasuke screams in realization.

"Dude, you scream like a girl." Ei laughs.

"Why are you here?" Sasuke asks, confused at why Ei decided to suddenly show up after so many years.

"I told you I'd find you," Ei answers, now serious. "and I promised I would kill you."

"But I'm not dead." Sasuke says with sarcasm.

"Well then, let's begin." Grinning, Ei takes out her cyclone shuriken once again. "Sasuke, I hope you remember this, because I know I sure do." She holds her weapon in front of her face, and calls out. "Demon wind shuriken! Windmill of shadows!"

Ei leaps into the air and throws the cyclone shuriken straight at Sasuke, who barely manages to dodge in time. Sasuke spins around to face Ei and shouts.

"Ei, you don't have to do this!"

Ei ignores him, giving him an evil smirk, and watches with amusement as the shuriken behind her hated cousin transforms into her shadow clone, who throws a frenzy of kunai at her unsuspecting victim. The several blades implant themselves into Sasuke's back, and Sasuke then shouts in pain and falls to his knees.

Finally, Sakura shows up.

"What's going on here!" she shouts.

"Oh, so NOW you show up." Sasuke says in frustration. "Where the hell are you when I need you?"

"Well maybe I could've been here sooner if you had the common sense to just go around the corner instead of walking an entire mile just to pee." Sakura answers.

"Who the hell is she?" Ei interrupts, feeling like a third wheel.

"Sasuke!" Sakura says in shock. "Are you cheating on me with her?"

"No dude, she's my cousin!"

"Sasuke, I don't know why you didn't slap her for saying that." Ei said shaking her head.

"Why is she here?" Sakura said confused.

"I'm here to kill Sasuke for what he did."

"Why, what did he do?"

"None of your BUSINESS!" Ei said in anger.

"COme on Sasuke you could totally take her!"

"No, I can't."

"What do you mean?"

"She could kill me if she wanted to, and why didn't you just accept the fact that I can't beat HER!" Sasuke yelled.

"Sasuke." Ei said.

"What?"

"Shut up."

"Okay." Sasuke said like a dog getting an order from his master.

Then Sakura said, "Okay then, let's go."

Sakura punches the ground and immediately Sasuke and Ei jump to protect themselves. After it was all over, Ei immediately hits the ground and starts doing hand signs and yells out "Wind Style, Wind Dragon All Seven Seas!"

"OMG, that's the second hokage's jutsu." Sasuke said, staring in shock.

Then Ei puts her hands out and a giant powerful wind takes the form of a dragon and starts heading towards Sasuke and Sakura. The two of them start jumping through trees as fast as they can, but the Wind Dragon was too fast. For more information, call 1-800-I-don't-know-the-rest-of-this-number.

Then the dragon opens its mouth and right before it hits Sasuke and Sakura, it explodes and they both close their eyes as tight as they can, Sasuke holding Sakura and screaming at the top of his lungs. Then it stopped and Sasuke and Sakura open their eyes.

"OMG Sasuke!" Sakura yells. "You're bald!"

"What? AAAAAHHHHHH!"

Then in the far distance they start hearing some laughing. They look around and see Ei rolling around on the ground laughing like crazy.

"What's so funny?" Sasuke says angrily.

"Dude you're BALD! I know it's just a genjutsu but it's still funny as HELL!"

"Come on Ei, undo the jutsu, I want my hair back!" Sasuke whines.

"Fine." Ei laughs again, then undid the jutsu and gave Sasuke back his "oh so perfect hair".

Then Sasuke disappears and ends up behind Ei and does chidori (without hitting her). But Ei turns around and does na teleportation jutsu and sends Sasuke and Sakura both into a made up scene in Death Note.

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**The time it takes for new chapters to be uploaded all depends on the number of reviews by the readers. We value your opinions, constructive criticism included, and the more reviews we get the faster we will upload. So tell us what you think and the next chapter will be up soon! =P**


	2. The Death Note World

L, Mello, and Near are all sitting in a room. L is sitting there with chocolate milk and a giant wedding cake that he had made for himself while watching Mello and Near talk.

Near says, "Dude, I was online and I saw guy and girl versions of the same name. Like, Eric is Erica, Patrick is Patricia, and Alex is Alexis."

"Hey, what's the girl version of my name?" L asks, with a stupid, crooked grin on his face for no apparent reason.

"I don't know, maybe Lavender?" Near guesses, not seeing "L" in the names list.

"What!" L protests, rather loudly. "You faggot ass transgender!"

"What about me?" Mello asks.

"I saw Mello and Mellony." Near answers.

Mello chokes on the Yello Mello he was drinking and turns to look at L.

Then Near blurts out, "You two should totally go out."

After gagging, Mello shouts out in disgust and rage, "L, kill him!"

L pulls out a ripped out corner of a page of the Death Note.

He looks at Mello and says, "Dude, you got a pen?"

"No."

Mello looks at Sasuke.

"Dude, you got a pen?"

Sasuke hands him a red pen.

"No get another one, I hate red I want black."

"It's just a pen." Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"I'm allergic to red. I need a black pen."

"Fine." Sasuke rolls his eyes again and gives a black pen to Mello.

Mello then gives the pen to L, and L writes down in the Death Note, _Nate River. 30:00FM dies of lung failure._

"Die!" L shouts.

Near starts suffocating and falls to the floor gasping for air and soon dies.

Mello shouts, "Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Ooo! Can I shoot him in the face? Please? Please? Please? Please? Give me my gun!"

L gives him the gun.

"Give me a chocolate bar!"

L gives him a chocolate bar.

Mello shoots Near in the face while eating the chocolate bar.

When he's done L points at Sasuke and Sakura and says, "Dude! I just noticed there were people here!"

Mello shoots Near again in the belly button and finishes his chocolate bar.

Sasuke stares at all of Near's blood and starts shaking. Sakura looks at L and says "Dude I know you have no idea who we are and why we're in your house but can we just use your bedroom for a minute?"

L says "sure" but he wasn't really paying attention but whatever so Sakura grabs Sasuke and pulls him into L's bedroom and shuts the door.

Four hours later, L comes home from the store and puts away all the groceries and goes into his room hoping to lay down but sees Sasuke and Sakura still... ughh. L like flies backwards and covers his eyes.

"Dude! Eww! Gross! I just mopped my bed!"

Mello screams from the couch in the living room. "L! L! L! L!"

L runs out of his room and shuts his door. "What? What? What? What?"

Mello points at the TV. "Look! Look! Look! Look!"

L looks at the TV. "Ooo! I love this show!"

(They're watching the channel with the colored bars covering the whole screen when it loses signal)

The screen goes out and you see the black, white, and gray squiggly lines and the static noises.

L shouts "I love this part!"

Then L looks at the couch where Mello spilled soda on it. "Dude! You spilled soda on my couch! I just mopped my couch!"

Later L goes to bed. When he gets there he lays down right between Sasuke and Sakura. Mello is still outside on the couch. Matt walks in and says "Hey Mello, I can't find my cigarettes, do you have any?"

Mello looks at him and says "No, but I have chocolate."

"Fine, but I'll trim your bushes if you give me five bucks."

Mello gives him the five bucks and Matt goes to buy cigarettes and never comes back for the bushes.

After L falls asleep, Sasuke looks at Sakura. "Let's pick on him."

"Why?"

I dunno"

"Okay..."

Sasuke gets up and walks outside where Mello is sitting on the couch.

Sasuke says "Hey, you! Umm... umm... umm... blonde chick!"

Mello glares at him and pulls out a piece of the Death Note and gets out a pen.

"What's your name?" Mello asks, angrily.

"Umm... I'm... Smitty Werben Yagerman Jensen."

"How do you spell that?"

"I don't know"

Matt walks in and says to Mello "Dude I want some chocolate. I'll mow your lawn if you give me some."

"Did you do the bushes?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay." Mello gives him chocolate, and Matt looks at Sasuke.

"Who's that Mello?"

"That's Smitt Urinal Manicurenson."

Matt rolls his eyes. "Okay..."

Sasuke points at Mello and says "Dude this blonde chick's annoying me. Matthew, where's the shaving cream?"

"Matt"

"Whatever, where is it?"

"It's in the bathroom." Sasuke goes back into the bedroom with Sakura and L.

Sasuke puts shaving cream on L's hand and Sakura tickles L's face. L slaps his face to scratch it and gets shaving cream all over his face. Sasuke writes "Lavender" on L's forehead, then Sakura grabs a sharpie and draws a right foot on L's left foot. Then they go sit out in the living room with Mello and Matt.

Sasuke says to Matt "Dude you know that monster zombie thing that follows Light around? They fell in love."

**The Smitty Werben Yagerman Jensen thing was from one of the old episodes of SpongeBob with the soda drinking hat.**


End file.
